Frozen Treats for Chattanooga City Hall & City Council

Today’s Times Free Press, the local newspaper, ran an article about how the animals at the Warner Zoo keep cool and happy with frozen treats during hot weather.

Well, sauce for the goose is sauce for the panderers.

Here’s suggestions for Chattanooga City Hall and a couple of the Chattanooga City Council.  Feel free to add your frozen treat for other illustrious members of Stink City’s politicians.

What flavors for them? What would  they like?

Mayor Ron Littlefield–” A Dipcicle.” Made with Cream of Cheat with a large dose of Granola-Payola. Guaranteed to drip and get his hands dirty.

Councilman Manny Rico–“A Brown-Cow Patty Mind Freeze.” Dipcicle has been feeding Manny these for years. One lick and you’re brain dead. If Manny is good, Dipcicle will give him another.

Councilman Jack Benson–“Metamucil Muncher.” Contains high fiber, caster oil, and a touch of Ex-Lax for those difficult moments when fiscal responsibility might be holding him back.

City Attorney Mike McMahan—”A Frozen Integrity Bar.” Unfortunately, Mike lost his Integrity Bar a long time ago. If anyone finds it, don’t bother to return it to Mike as he wouldn’t be able to recognize it now.

So the next time you see the Ice Cream truck on 11th Street, remember the folks cooling off with taxpayer money.

Harry Statel

A special thanks to wcsquigulum for his suggestion of where the politicos could stick a “Nutty Buddy.”

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