Crime-Fighting Mascot Meets Horrifying End in Chattanooga, but Loves Public Art

Crime-Fighting Mascot Meets Horrifying End in Chattanooga, but Loves Public Art

McGruff Dies in Hail of Paper Clips

Gunshots from the “Willow Street Wankers”, “Highland Park Hop-Heads,” and the “Amnicola Asswipes” broke-out today during a Department of Education, Arts, and Cultural Affairs event at the popular Chattanooga Riverfront today.

The event, “Connect-the-Crackheads,” sponsored with some of the 2.1 million budget given to the EAC for Community Programs, provided firearms instruction, mobile meth-lab making, and a round-table discussion program, “Gang-Banging—Edumacation from Inside the “City Hall Banditos.”

After the gangstas and thugs completed drive-by shooting practice in downtown Chattanooga, the homies returned to Riverfront Park for an unveiling of the latest Public Art sculpture, ”Wave of Welfare.”

As McGruff the Crime Dog approached the sculpture to hike his leg to officially dedicate the sculpture, a rival gang, “The Lindsay Street Loonies,” attacked with paper clips, budget requests, memorandums, gavels, staplers, retirement benefit packages, and political payoffs.

Other gangs returned fire with guns purchased with SSI, Food Stamps, and other gubmint checks, with contributions from the Billy Long Foundation for Better Sheriffing.

The Mayor’s spokesman, overheard talking with the Loonies, “I told you not to do this now. The Mayor is still in town. We told you to dress as ReCallers with clip boards, not City Councilmen.”

McGruff, mortally wounded, requested a trip by ambulance to visit all the Public Art in Chattanooga before dying.

McGuff’s dying declaration was eloquent.  “Crime stopping is important, but Public Art makes a city great!”

A memorial service will be held at Coolidge Park this Wednesday afternoon. “Attendees should dress appropriately. Bullet-proof vests suggested, but not required. Please leave your firearms at home so it’s easier to be attacked, raped, robbed, and murdered,” said the Mayor’s spokesman.

After the brief service, McGruff’s body will be accompanied by the Mayor and Council riding in M1 Abrahms tanks through Highland Park to the National Cemetery.

In honor of McGruff, City Public Works will open his grave using fifteen workers, four supervisors, two engineers, and one shovel. It’s expected to take two days for the work to be completed.

In lieu of flowers, donations to the Mayor’s Club  for Political Hacks is expected (City Attorney, treasurer).

Chattanooga crime rate in top 20, read it here

How could this happen in Chattanooga? Here’s what our leaders think.

“I certainly don’t believe that Chattanooga is more dangerous or violent than Atlanta,” said Chattanooga police Chief Bobby Dodd.” August 30, 2010 Times-Free Press

“Reported incidents are up 4 percent, according to the report, while adult arrests are up 23 percent, the report shows. Those figures dispute the common perception that “crime is out of control,” Mr. Littlefield said.

“The fact that arrests have increased and crime has gone down, I don’t think those two figures are unrelated,” he said.

The largest decrease was in violent crimes, particularly rape and aggravated assault, according to the report. Rapes were down 30 percent and aggravated assaults dropped by 8 percent.” Feb. 11, 2010 Times Free Press

“We need more police, we need more firefighters,” Mr. Littlefield said. “Those are the blue services, and you cannot allow them to be diminished or demoralized.”  May 21, 2010 Times-Free Press

Chattanooga Mayor Ron Littlefield said in a televised interview last week that officials may have hurt themselves by not adequately addressing the situation.

“We perhaps did ourselves no favors over the years by denying that we have a gang presence here; it just wasn’t that strong,” the mayor said.  June 30, 2009 Times-Free Press

“We’re running one academy after another, but we always have retirements, and people leave our force for one reason or another,” Mr. Littlefield said. “Every neighborhood we go into when people tell us our people need good jobs, Chief (Freeman) Cooper and I tell them that people should apply to become police officers.” September 26, 2007 Times-Free Press

District 7 City Councilman Manny Rico kicked off his re-election campaign Tuesday in the hallway of the City Council building, telling supporters ”he wanted to keep fighting crime in the district and felt crime has decreased since he’s been in office.” January 18, 2009 Times-Free Press

Mr. Rico said residents must be realistic. “In the current economy, what money is available for improvements is going to help develop property related to the coming Volkswagen plant, he said.” April 19, 2009 Times-Free Press

“They were telling us we need to be quiet,” Ms. Petty said. “I just can’t believe they would just turn around and do nothing. … They’ll wait for an innocent child to get shot.”

But Al Chapman, director of Chattanooga Mayor Ron Littlefield’s Faith-Based Initiative, said he understands why many local pastors are avoiding the limelight: According to them, he said, it undercuts the cause Ms. Petty says she is championing.

“If I were in her shoes, the last thing I would do is go to the press,” Mr. Chapman said. “Her approach is (driving) kids away.”  Ms. Petty and her husband, Kevin Williams, said they have been unsuccessful in their attempts to contact the company that manages Woodlawn Apartments, Lookout Property Management Inc., as well as the owners, which according to the property deed are members of the Frazier Avenue law firm Berke, Berke & Berke. Stop the Madness received $100,000 from the city in last year’s budget, according to city spokeswoman Michelle Michaud. The mayor’s office has not received any reports accounting for the spending of that money, she said. May 11, 2007 Times-Free Press

The mayor [Littlefield]has said he wants to increase police pay and staff two police academies, adding 50 new officers to the department. April 6, 2010 Times-Free Press

Standing just a few hundred feet from where weekend gunfire wounded five and sent crowds fleeing in panic from Coolidge Park, Mayor Ron Littlefield told reporters that, “It’s time for this to stop.” March 30, 2010 Times-Free Press

Harry Statel

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